The Unbalanced Libra..

I had a huge huge craving for Macdonald's at midnight yesterday. I told K about it and he smiled. I was actually prepared to order it for my lunch today or even walk all the way there if i had to. But K told me it was more than 3.5km away from our motel.. Sigh... I had difficulty sleeping after that.

Anyway, today is the latest i have woken up: 1230pm. The rain has finally stopped, and K and the rest have been going to work these past 2 days. I woke up with a pain in my tummy, like it was dragging my whole body down. Think baby is hungry! = ) So i made breakfast, toast with cheese and tuna, and chicken biscuits. Just had lunch at 4pm. Apparently, the Macdonald's here don't do delivery. And i wasn't really in the mood to walk 7km (2 ways) to get my burger and fries. So for lunch, i cooked fried rice with luncheon meat, fish mall, cabbage and egg. Not too bad for my first try! = )

I had my 2nd breakdown yesterday night when i was in bed with K. We had planned on watching another DVD, but my emotional explosion delayed us by 30 mins. For some reason, everything seemed to be going wrong yesterday. I just got so stressed up over all the things i needed to do that i started to get depressed. It's ironic how i get can stressed up since i am on holiday and lazing around at home all day. =)

First of all, i woke up in the morning with a bleeding nose. Think i have too much "heat" in my body. I did reseach on the internet yesterday on natural birth and c-section, and after reading through all the details, I got really worried, and reached a conclusion that i don't want either. Apparently, c-section is very complicated and can cause some severe side effects. And it is much more expensive. Natural birth is better, but if i want to reduce labor pain, i need to take epidural, which also causes some severe side effects. Also, i think i will have problems having sex after natural birth..

Then, i chatted with Goong and my sister online. My sister (out of care and concern) was reminding me that i need to go for this OB scan before my 20-22nd week, and that i need to go and find myself a confinement lady soon cause the good ones usualy get booked out early. Then Goong was telling me about her friend who was 24 weeks pregnant and was unable to fly out of the country because the airline refused to let her fly. These made me even more stressed. Cause now i need to check with the airlines what their regulations are with regards to pregant women travelling. But because K and I haven't decided which airline to fly or even when or where to fly from, i don't know which airline to ask. As for the confinement lady, i don't even know where to start.

The whole going back thing was another source of my stress. K keeps wanting to look for the cheapest option for our flight back, with stops at Australia and Malaysia in between to cut down costs. Even though we can top up some money and use my miles to fly SQ direct to Singapore. But my miles are only enough for one ticket, which means K and I would have to fly seperately. Which we didn't want. So i had to do research and cross reference on all the air tickets. From parts of NZ to parts of Australia, then from parts of Australia to Singapore. Then we need to decide which date to depart etc.. All of which i haven't done.

Then there was the whole choosing a gynae and hospital issue. Until now, we still haven't decide on which hospital and gynae to go to. And time seems to be running out. I am so worried i will not get a good gynae if i don't book early. But i can't do all these by myself. I need to discuss with K. I guess the whole breakdown was caused by me thinking i have all these big things to handle, and being alone at home the whole day, this made me think i had to do all these by myself.

And then there is the online annual return filing for Vivatech. Which i had to do before 2nd August or get fined by ACRA. The problem was, the accounts doesn't balance and i don't know how to balance the damn thing so i can do the filing.

Then at night, when K came back, i had planned to cook porridge for him so he can eat with the leftover dishes i had for lunch (chye poh omelette and fried luncheon meat with potatoes and baked beans). Instead, he chose to cook instant noodles and lamb stew. For some reason, i got upset over that, cause it spoiled my plan.

For dinner, i made chicken spaghetti for myself, Ah Ming and Adreana. And it turned out lousy. That upset me even more.

And so, everything just culminated at night with my 2nd breakdown in 2 months since i arrived in New Zealand.. That's not a good thing.. Sigh.. But i feel much better now. After letting me cry my heart out, K went through a whole list of things that i can do for a start. He planned out a "system" that will help break all these big things into smaller more manageable steps. And we talked about getting a gynae and choosing a hospital. I realised K didn't want me to get a male gynae so i guess the decision is to go with my sister's gynae at Eastshore cause it's nearer and her gynae is female.

This afternoon, i've also done up an Excel table to compare all the air ticket prices, and i've also sent out an email to my sister's gynae to book a date with her for my first consultation when i go back to Singapore. I will now email some of the airlines to check on whether i can travel at 22 weeks = )

Sigh.. really don't know what to do without K.. I already told him to get used to me getting all emotional for the next few months.. haha..