Today is Bria's due date.. But of course, my dear baby girl chose to come one week earlier, and on a much nicer date: 12/12/2009.
I had my first post-natal breakdown today. Breastfed Bria 3 times on each breast for nearly 2 hours till my arms ached, but she still kept crying and wanted more milk.. So I had no choice but to feed her formula.. As i watched her finished the whole bottle and then having a contented look on her face, i got really upset. And felt really useless that i cannot produce enough milk for her. Plus, for some reason, i feel that K is not spending enough time with Bria. Everytime she is awake and feeding, K is sitting in front of his computer.. Even on weekends when he doesn't have to work, he is sitting in front of his computer.. So i got really upset... To him, he paid money to hire a helper to take care of the baby, so he shouldn't be doing the work. But sometimes, i really wish that the person beside me when I am feeding Bria, singing to her and changing her diaper is my husband and not the helper...
Actually, i also don't know what i want.. K is already doing his best working hard to support the family. Plus, he does try to spend time with Bria and sing to her.. i guess i am just depressed that i don't have enough milk.. Plus, my dad fell down again today while he was going to the toilet. So my mom called to complain to me and ask me to help find a maid for him.. As if i am not busy enough already!! Can't believe they can't even spare me and let me rest during my confinement.. sigh.. = (
I had my first post-natal breakdown today. Breastfed Bria 3 times on each breast for nearly 2 hours till my arms ached, but she still kept crying and wanted more milk.. So I had no choice but to feed her formula.. As i watched her finished the whole bottle and then having a contented look on her face, i got really upset. And felt really useless that i cannot produce enough milk for her. Plus, for some reason, i feel that K is not spending enough time with Bria. Everytime she is awake and feeding, K is sitting in front of his computer.. Even on weekends when he doesn't have to work, he is sitting in front of his computer.. So i got really upset... To him, he paid money to hire a helper to take care of the baby, so he shouldn't be doing the work. But sometimes, i really wish that the person beside me when I am feeding Bria, singing to her and changing her diaper is my husband and not the helper...
Actually, i also don't know what i want.. K is already doing his best working hard to support the family. Plus, he does try to spend time with Bria and sing to her.. i guess i am just depressed that i don't have enough milk.. Plus, my dad fell down again today while he was going to the toilet. So my mom called to complain to me and ask me to help find a maid for him.. As if i am not busy enough already!! Can't believe they can't even spare me and let me rest during my confinement.. sigh.. = (
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