Yesterday, my country celebrated it's 43rd birthday. It was the worst birthday I've ever had..
My day was kick started when i was rudely awaken by a phone call from my mom in law (MIL).. she couldn't get K and so called me instead. It was 11am, and she told me that we were supposed to meet for lunch (with his uncles, aunties and granny) in one hour at Pu Tien (somewhere near Mustaffa Shopping Center).. then she said the whole family would be coming over to our house after lunch.. after we hung up, i freaked out and jumped out of bed.. tried to call K but he didn't pick up. he was at Pasir Ris park jogging with F. I was totally pissed off.. Firstly, i didn't like being woken up so early on a Saturday.. Secondly, i had only 1 hour to get dressed AND tidy up the house so that it looks presentable when they arrive.. and Thirdly, i hate it when i can't get K (or someone i need) on the phone! Lastly, i had already made plans for the day (to visit my dad and grandmother), and it didn't include the whole family coming to my house after lunch. We had extended the invitation yesterday but was rejected.. now last minute change plans.. Another thing i especially hate is to change my plans..
Anyway, my MIL called about 10 minutes later and told me lunch was changed to 1pm instead. Somehow i was still upset.. K came back around 12pm.. and we had a huge fight over this.. he didn't think it was a big deal, but i felt exactly the opposite..
Lunch was delicious..the group was larger than i had expected, but i didn't talk much.. the restaurant was giving away free tattoos of the national flag and also the national flag itself.. i managed to con the waitress to give me 4 flags.. intend to give my friends during the National Day party at my house today.. = )
After lunch, we headed to my place.. During the ride back, K and I started talking about the whole coming to our house and spoiling my day's plans issue... and we had a fight again.. this time more huge that the one in the morning.. I don't know if it's really about this, or the fact that i have been feeling depressed recently (because of certain people), plus the fact that i have more and more pimples AND i'm having my period, but i just felt totally upset and depressed.. like the whole world is turning against me and plotting my downfall.. i was totally unstable.. and the fact that he was just retorting me on everything i say and making everything seem so unimportant just makes me feel worse.
I finally broke down when we reached the car park. I asked K for his EZ link card and $50, got out of the car and walked off.. He chased and asked me where i was going, i said i didn't know, and he left.. i knew he couldn't stay to pacify me cause his entire family was waiting downstairs to go to our house, but i still felt upset and very much alone.. I walked to the MRT station, sat down, stared into space for a while.. then walked back to the carpark.. took the lift to the highest floor to the roof garden, found a pavilion and just sat there for about an hour.. listening to songs with lyrics that totally reflected my feelings.. I kinda reflected on what has happened over the past few weeks and just cried my heart out.. it was pathetic.. but kinda nice cause i finally let it all out.. Usually, whenever i had problems or fought with people, K was the one i would confide in.. but when the fight is with him, i didn't know who to turn to.. and then there are some things that i can't confide in anybody cause nobody's supposed to know.. OR the one person who knows doesn't want to and can't be bothered to care what's happening to me..
After 1 hour of wallowing in self pity, i decided to head to my grandmother's house.. hung around for about 2 hours before i headed to my parent's place for dinner and to watch the national day parade.. dinner was good, but the parade sucked.. my dad was the same as usual, no improvement in his left hand, which is still limp. Mom had mentioned that i could have their maid over to my house to help out once in a while, cause she was "under utilized". So yesterday, i asked cause i wanted some help to clean up after the party at my house today.. Mom said i could but Dad would also have to come to my place.. when i rejected the idea, she kept asking me why dad cannot go to my house.. The reason i didn't want him to was because it would be weird having my friends and then my dad is there.. but i think my dad looked hurt when i said i didn't want him to come.. he probably thinks i feel he might embarrass me in front of my friends because of his "condition".. which is totally UNTRUE. When i saw my dad's upset look, i got pissed off again and fought with my Mom.. because i know she was just paying lip service when she said i could use the maid. The real reason was because she wanted to get my dad off her back so she can have some alone time.. i just don't understand why she can't just tell the truth, and had to make me look like the bad person here..
By the time the parade ended, i felt the same way as i would describe the parade: LOUSY.. rudely awaken, 3 huge fights, more and more pimples, and my stupid never ending period..
My day was kick started when i was rudely awaken by a phone call from my mom in law (MIL).. she couldn't get K and so called me instead. It was 11am, and she told me that we were supposed to meet for lunch (with his uncles, aunties and granny) in one hour at Pu Tien (somewhere near Mustaffa Shopping Center).. then she said the whole family would be coming over to our house after lunch.. after we hung up, i freaked out and jumped out of bed.. tried to call K but he didn't pick up. he was at Pasir Ris park jogging with F. I was totally pissed off.. Firstly, i didn't like being woken up so early on a Saturday.. Secondly, i had only 1 hour to get dressed AND tidy up the house so that it looks presentable when they arrive.. and Thirdly, i hate it when i can't get K (or someone i need) on the phone! Lastly, i had already made plans for the day (to visit my dad and grandmother), and it didn't include the whole family coming to my house after lunch. We had extended the invitation yesterday but was rejected.. now last minute change plans.. Another thing i especially hate is to change my plans..
Anyway, my MIL called about 10 minutes later and told me lunch was changed to 1pm instead. Somehow i was still upset.. K came back around 12pm.. and we had a huge fight over this.. he didn't think it was a big deal, but i felt exactly the opposite..
Lunch was delicious..the group was larger than i had expected, but i didn't talk much.. the restaurant was giving away free tattoos of the national flag and also the national flag itself.. i managed to con the waitress to give me 4 flags.. intend to give my friends during the National Day party at my house today.. = )
After lunch, we headed to my place.. During the ride back, K and I started talking about the whole coming to our house and spoiling my day's plans issue... and we had a fight again.. this time more huge that the one in the morning.. I don't know if it's really about this, or the fact that i have been feeling depressed recently (because of certain people), plus the fact that i have more and more pimples AND i'm having my period, but i just felt totally upset and depressed.. like the whole world is turning against me and plotting my downfall.. i was totally unstable.. and the fact that he was just retorting me on everything i say and making everything seem so unimportant just makes me feel worse.
I finally broke down when we reached the car park. I asked K for his EZ link card and $50, got out of the car and walked off.. He chased and asked me where i was going, i said i didn't know, and he left.. i knew he couldn't stay to pacify me cause his entire family was waiting downstairs to go to our house, but i still felt upset and very much alone.. I walked to the MRT station, sat down, stared into space for a while.. then walked back to the carpark.. took the lift to the highest floor to the roof garden, found a pavilion and just sat there for about an hour.. listening to songs with lyrics that totally reflected my feelings.. I kinda reflected on what has happened over the past few weeks and just cried my heart out.. it was pathetic.. but kinda nice cause i finally let it all out.. Usually, whenever i had problems or fought with people, K was the one i would confide in.. but when the fight is with him, i didn't know who to turn to.. and then there are some things that i can't confide in anybody cause nobody's supposed to know.. OR the one person who knows doesn't want to and can't be bothered to care what's happening to me..
After 1 hour of wallowing in self pity, i decided to head to my grandmother's house.. hung around for about 2 hours before i headed to my parent's place for dinner and to watch the national day parade.. dinner was good, but the parade sucked.. my dad was the same as usual, no improvement in his left hand, which is still limp. Mom had mentioned that i could have their maid over to my house to help out once in a while, cause she was "under utilized". So yesterday, i asked cause i wanted some help to clean up after the party at my house today.. Mom said i could but Dad would also have to come to my place.. when i rejected the idea, she kept asking me why dad cannot go to my house.. The reason i didn't want him to was because it would be weird having my friends and then my dad is there.. but i think my dad looked hurt when i said i didn't want him to come.. he probably thinks i feel he might embarrass me in front of my friends because of his "condition".. which is totally UNTRUE. When i saw my dad's upset look, i got pissed off again and fought with my Mom.. because i know she was just paying lip service when she said i could use the maid. The real reason was because she wanted to get my dad off her back so she can have some alone time.. i just don't understand why she can't just tell the truth, and had to make me look like the bad person here..
By the time the parade ended, i felt the same way as i would describe the parade: LOUSY.. rudely awaken, 3 huge fights, more and more pimples, and my stupid never ending period..
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